Chronic Stupid

So, there I was. On the verge of poetic when...Poop! I fell.

I commited a crime yesterday...I took a sick day.
I never do this, I feel,(as idotic as it sounds) that this is sign of weakness. I know, old school stubborness. After 2 days of shoveling with a bad cold, I'm beat. There is an upside however. I get a chance to read, which in-turn, kickstarts my brain back into action. It's true. Most of the time my brain is to busy dealing with work, family and everyday type stuff. Somewhere in between the cough syrup, snot, vitamin C, and unfinished low brow sci-fi books, my brain begins to tackle the big issues of our generation. And what, pray-tell are these great issues?
Canned fruit.

Yup, Canned fruit. While I was eating one of these truly appetizing dishes i began to wonder. "Is it possible that there is any nutritional value at all left to these pathetic little globules of fruit?"
I can't accept the notion that these are taken right from the tree, chopped up and packaged by happy little elves into these delightful little cups. No, I believe they are the product of a far more sinister and demented proccess. I bet these are the scraps found in the machinery after mass producing various other items needing fruit pulp. More than likely they are left in large vats that will drain their remaining color and syrup through simple osmosis. Then the evil men at the "Giant Bad Food Coglomerate" inject them with fake food coloring and high frutcose corn syrup. You see this is just the kind of thing the "MAN" would try to pull on us! Take a complete snow job and re-package it as some kind of wholesome treat straight from the bossom of Mother Nature. This is the kind of subtlety that will tear-apart the very fabric of AMERICA!!!!!
So, once again, I ask, "Is there any nutritional value left in this?!"
Maybe I should lay off the cough syrup....

posted by HazMatt @ 5:36 PM