Chronic Stupid

Cross Your Rubicon

'Been thinking alot this week. About Love, life choices and doing the tough stuff as well as the effect of the media on our perception of the moment. I wanted to write these thoughts down earlier this week, but I just couldn't organize all these disparate threads, until Tuesday. I was driving home while deep in disscusion with my friend about the idea of "Tough Love". During our conversation a song by Rich Price came on about "Crossing the Rubicon". It wasn't a really profound moment, but it got me thinking in the right direction. Way back in the day, Julius Ceasar was looking to take control of Rome. He gathered a large army and prepared to attack. It was reported that he told his troops that once they crossed the Rubicon, there was no turning back. It was an irreversable step, hence the phrase was born. My friend had to tell his wife some really hard stuff in order to mantain true, honest, selfless love. And in my life, I've been mulling over the pain and joy that comes with the care and raising of my 2 sons. Today i heard a snippet of a poem that really touched me. It was about the seemingly thankless job of being a parent, as seen from a now grown child. "What I didn't know then, of the cold, austere. and lonely offices of love." This quote conjured up the image of Jesus, waiting in Heaven for us, waiting for the call of gratitude that too often never comes. "The Cold Offices of Love" I wanted to pull all these thoughts together into one, cohesive piece, but alas, this was just not possible. The best I can offer is this; Getting married, being a parent, and chosing to love, Dying on the cross, these are all in one form or another a crossing of the Rubicon. Once those soldiers followed Ceasar across the river they were guilty of treason. Whether they fought or not was irrelevent, they would forever live with that choice. Once I became a father I would always be one. There is no escaping it. The same goes for being a husband, whether our spouse dies, leaves, or we screw-up, we will always have that mark on our soul. The Creator joins us into one flesh. One person! I mean really sit down and think about that! I hope this post hasn't been too Insane, I just, like usual, have to get this junk out of my head. Oh and speaking of the "pain" of fatherhood, check out Isaac's eye. He fell on a milk crate. Well thats all from the crazy ward for today!

posted by HazMatt @ 10:59 PM